琥珀春秋

there has been a heatted discussion about the picture . As is shown above ,there are two handicapped men ,one is lame in the left,while the other is in the other one,with their walking sticks being stand in the road,supporting each other go ahead. simple as the picture is ,the simple as the picture is,the symbolic meaning is as deep as the ocean.
our human history has been filled with a variety of examples of cooperation,with the wenchuan earthquake reconstruction being the foremost.After the disaster,people from all walks of life in the society were mobilized and united as one,which is so called cooperation.According to the last survey,peopel participated in the rebuilding after disaster has reached as many as 7,000,000,which is the population of a big city. were there no cooperation of the whole society ,hardly can wenchuan’s people restore their home.

During the process,especally in the times of knowledge explosion ,when news , facts,opinions even rumors have been bombarding us from every corner of the world. If we hope to witness the ideal scene in which people enjoy their life to the uttermost , cooperation would be a indispensable spirit.
【存在问题：第一段中的句子结构过于复杂，不连贯，不通顺
第三段中的开头部分，过于罗嗦。
整体上过于强调句式，而忽略了文章本身的连贯性。
】
再次修改的。

There has been a heatted discussion about the picture. As is shown above ,there are two handicapped men with their walking sticks standing in the road , one is lame in the left,while the other is in the left,going ahead with each other’s help.I believe many people can understand the deep meaning that the picture bring to us .

Our human history has been filled with a variety of examples of Cooperation,with the wenchuan earthquake reconstruction being the foremost.After the disaster ,people from all walks of life in the society were mobilized actively and united as one group,which is so called Cooperation. According to the last survey ,the number of people participated in the rebuilding after disaster reached as many as 7,000,000,which is the population of a big city .We can image if there were no cooperation of the whole society , hardly can wenchuan’s people restore their home .

Now we live in the times of knowledge explosion , when news , facts, opinions even rumors bombarding us from every corner of the world . If we hope to witness the ideal scene in which people enjoy their life to the uttermost ,cooperation would be a indispensable spirit.

This entry was posted on 星期二, 06月 8th, 2010 at 13:51 and is filed under 英语学习. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.